I can't do it anymore, I just want to go home.
I hide in my room all the time and let my friends and family down.
I just want to go home, I miss my family, I miss the trees, I miss the ocean, I miss feeling like I belong somewhere.
It has finally hit me that I don't want to go to school anymore, I can't. It will all be in vain and a waste of money.
I'm sorry I keep ranting and raving, I just needed to write this down.

I'm sorry I have disappointed you all.

I'm so homesick/sick.

I try to hard to live by what Oscar Wilde said- “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
Whats wrong with me?

I can't help but think I'm going crazy.
I'm still a little loopy though, I had stomach surgery done this morning and I've never had any type of anesthesia before. It was crazy.


I've been extremely frustrated with myself lately in every thing I'm doing, especially in art. I haven't done ANY photographs, drawn anything, or even just picked up a damn paint brush in almost a YEAR!

How can I possibly have this much of an artistic block?? High school is over and I can do whatever the hell I want, so why am I doing things I know i don't want to do the rest of my life? Maybe because I have no idea wtf I want to do the rest of my days.

Whenever I model for my mom or Holli (btw I love you entirely), I just have a million things going through my head on how I could change things up and get these creative surges, why don't I do anything about them?


whatever.